Not sure...

So, I haven't been as good about this as I thought that I would be.  Maybe it's because I haven't really done much about losing the weight that I promised that  I would, maybe it's writers block.  Either way, here I am. 

Weightloss for the last couple weeks has been 0.  I have not done much in the working out department that would make me lose anything.  I went to yoga a couple times and took Sinatra, my dog on a 3 mile walk, that surprisingly kicked my ass.  That was a horrible feeling.  I have run 5 half marathons and walking up a terrible hill kicked my ass.  I would love love love to get into shape, but really it's not the most important thing in the world. 

I'm watching "Gene Simmons: Family Jewels", it's the episode where they are in Amsterdam.  He went to the Anne Frank House.  I learned a little bit about his history.  I had no idea where he came from.  His story is so important and so moving that I think that it needs to be talked about more. I really wish that we as a society would look back at past events and learn from them.  Slavery, kicking Indians off their land, the Holocost.  Just because people look different doesn't mean that they are.  There is no reason to discriminate, none at all.  Maybe that is why I have decided to change my minor to History.  I want to learn all I can about the mistakes and victories throughout history. 

I'm supposed to be writing my final paper for the class I am in right now...thank God that tomorrow is the last day. Anyway...it's on disabilities and discrimination and I have no idea what to write it on or what angle to take.  Maybe I should start by using the events throughout history as examples of discrimination?

I know that this has been all over the place, but I had to write what I felt. I promise to keep up with the blogging.  Have a great week all!

Love,
"losin it"

weight 195

Realization!

So here I am, 1 month and 4 days from my 30th birthday, on a mission to lose it! I have tried just about everything to try and lose weight; diet change, yoga and lots of running; still holding onto about 60 + pounds that just won't go away. So, I'm putting myself on blast by creating a blog to track my ups and downs of this mission.  I will log in at least once a week.  I will enter my weight and my summary of what happened that week.  This blog will not just be about my struggle with weightloss, but it will be all the other struggles that come along with being a single girl trying to find her way in the world.  Work, school and personal life.  I am hoping that this will hold me accountable for what I eat and make sure that I am working as hard as I think I am...which is usually not the case.

I have learned a lot these last couple years.  Since my break up and massive heart break I have lost 40 lbs, but gained 15-20 of them back.  I have learned that I am worth so much more than I though I was.  I have an amazing support system of friends and family.  Thanks to the break up I have come alive! You never know what you have been missing out on until you start doing it. I found my old friends, I had been so out of the loop with everyone and everything.  I spent 7 years taking care of my man and not myself.  This is my promise to myself, I will never ever lose myself in a relationship ever again.  I deserve to be taken care of too. I am taking control of my life and nothing is going to stop me now.  The next relationship I get into will be with someone who is going to be my best friends, my partner and a man who will not hold me back or keep me down.  He will be someone that I run with, someone that lets me have my life, who gets along with my friends who I so affectionately call the A Team for being assholes...and not in a bad way. Someone who will fit right in with my family.

So here we go.  The start to my mission. 

Courtney

Day 1.
weight 195